My Nemesis

This is a step.   A step into the "kiddy" part of the pool. A section in our pool that looks like a spa but isn't. It's a pool for the babies with three little fountains. A Simple step nothing more. However, to me it's a symbol of a fading mind. Something I've worried about since I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 1999.

Last August, I went off work on disability. By the end of the month, I knew getting my insurance company to pay despite two doctors' completing form after form saying I could no longer work, was going to require a miracle. I was stressed and thought sitting in the kiddy pool watching Sabby swim would be a good break. Plus the temperature was well into the 110 degree range and even with A.C. I was feeling hot and miserable. So, I changed into my swim suit and gathered my towel and prepared to "cool off" in water at least 98 degrees (but at least it was wet). I forgot that there is a step into this kiddy pool and stepped into the water, not here where the step is; but over to the side, crashed down 2 feet into water that wasn't nearly deep enough to break my fall.. and voila! Broke my leg at the knee; Was in the hospital for 3 days waited another week; went back into the hospital, had surgery and remained in the hospital then a nursing home for 3 weeks. I was in a wheel chair until just before Christmas when I graduated into crutches or cane. And I whined a lot! I did however eventually start getting disability checks. And I learned an appreciation for the strength of people who face forever in a wheel chair and still smile; who face forever being cared for, not able to even go into the bathroom alone and still laugh; not being able to go to the store without help and still get up everyday; not getting outside unless a loved one can lift the wheel chair out side and still get themselves to a job everyday. It is hard to explain but at once I learned to stop fearing  what MIGHT come with M.S. and to understand what may come. I also learned to more completely appreciate what I CAN do still. 

I still walk funny. 

Pool weather is back and I'm looking at this step again.... Yesterday I did two things; I took a picture of the damn thing and held Paul's hand while I stepped down ONTO THE STEP and waded into the kiddy pool... Yay Betty! When you see a step almost as big as the pool, it ONLY makes sense that you USE this step to get into the water!

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog today.