Musings and Memories

Mom, Lyndsey, & Me  1982

1982 Kathie, our Brother Jim & Aly at the wedding AFTER the Bacherette Party.

Many years ago, Kathie (my twin sister) and I went along with our sister Peggy to a Bachelorette Party for my sister in law. This was 1982. The party was at a place called Sundance Meat Company - Male Strippers. Yeah, even at the ripe old age of 56 I smile when remembering that night.. I wince though when remembering after several wine spritzers, telling my father (a most dignified man) to TAKE IT OFF while on the phone with him later.. Even drunk I would not go up to the dancers and place my $1.00 or $2.00 wherever for a kiss or whatever. I felt that would be disloyal to Paul. Anyway, Kathie wasn't married yet and had no such qualms. She came back to our table smiling brightly telling me and all at the table, she could die happy now.. Being in such a celebratory mood I gave that comment little thought that night. But over the 25 years since, I've given it a great deal of thought.. I can die happy now... I have a great life. Not rich (not even financially secure at this point), not aging well, not healthy really. But I'd have to say without hesitation that I am a very happy person. I have what you can't buy. Love of a remarkable husband and family, the Most beautiful Grand Children God ever blessed anyone with (I know many of you reading this would strongly disagree, thinking your grandchildren are... ), the best friends I've ever had in my life.. I have it all.

I believe (though many have said I am crazy) that I got a glimpse at the other side the day I had a heart attack 4 years ago.. I heard the paramedics telling each other They lost me.. I wanted them to be quiet.. the pain was finally gone.. don't wake me up... I saw the E.R. doctor telling the paramedics I was gone.. I didn't see much if I saw anything beyond a dream, but I felt very peaceful, and each time "they lost me" I was free of the awful pain consuming me. I'd have said that day I could die happily..  BUT BUT BUT, since that day, I've been blessed with three more grandchildren who, along with their older cousins, have given me more joy than I ever thought was possible in this life. I've gained more friends since that day, I've seen three of my older grand children start school. I've gained far more knowledge and insight into life and the people in my life since that day. Sabby has lived with me since that day and lord knows I've learned from her.

I guess I could die happy today, and say thanks a bunch to God for all that he's given me; but gosh I'd hate to miss all that appears to be on the horizon in the next four  or more years... Starting with this weekend when Rob, Carla, Madi & Conner come to visit (and per Carla, Lyndsey, Victor and the girls, even if she has to tie lyndsey to the top of their car).. AND AND AND , I've decided to face my fear of flying; slowly slowly with small trips; and on my 60th Birthday, I plan on walking home from a Pub in Ireland, slightly drunk, surrounded by my family, to a local Irish bed and breakfast... I rarely drink so it won't take much.. :)

I never did give that gorgeous male stripper dancer any money, and when I think back I do more than smile.. I Laugh out Loud! I've gotten MUCH older than I was in the picture at the top of my post... So has that sexy young dancer... He's got to be close to 50 now.. 

Thanks for taking the time to read my silly musings today.