Friday, March 20, 2009

Not Sleeping and Getting Older

Well now!!!! , it's 1:01 am and I'm not sleeping. I'm also not in CA. Paul and I were worn out this afternoon and I had a "great idea" to take a nap and leave first thing in the morning, drive straight through to Disneyland. I didn't nap and after a couple of hours of sleep, I woke up and here I sit, with the "Ace of Cakes" on T.V. catching up on blogs and wanting to sleep.
I'm thinking of getting another year older... Not for another hour yet.... While I'm very blessed for many reasons, celebrating another year on this earth being only one of them, I really hate getting older, watching gravity take hold. If I ruled the world, I would bannish large mirrors from bathrooms ESPECIALLY when they face your shower!!!  O.K. TMI.. 
In my head, I'm oh, maybe not 18 anymore, but I sure don't feel wise enough to be 57. Grey enough yes, but not wise. I've learned something this year. If I could do it all over again, I would. I would certainly marry Paul and Robbie, have my kids, move when we did etc.. I would also handle my money like I did; smoke like I did, EAT like I did when I quit smoking, work where and how I did --- I know this because I've continued to make the same mistakes Over and Over and Over. Pretty much that's o.k. 

I've continued to click off the items on my "Bucket List" and there's really not much other than that drive up Highway 95, (from Key West to Maine) that I haven't done that I wish I had. Doesn't seem now that we'll be doing that drive anytime soon.

 If I had Only ONE do over, it'd have been NEVER to have set foot in a casino EVER. Otherwise, I've gotten past that part of my life and learned from it. Learned compassion, and Empathy, and in the end self forgiveness.

I think, I'm really lucky for all the reasons, I bather on about daily, and that I'm 57 and really  happy with my life and the way it's turned out. I know I'm lucky - I think that's a gift too. I am even glad I almost died 4 years ago. Gave me an appreciation for life and although I don't like thinking about that big LIFE REVIEW waiting for me on that day, I'm really not too afraid of dying. 

All in all, as I face 57, I'm glad I'm not 59 like my sister Peggy will be on April 19th. 

Kathie, Happy Birthday!!!!

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog today.

Here are a few more photos from last week in Southern CA

Lyndsey at San Diego Wild Animal Park

Mic at the Animal Park

Izzy and Conner, They Play non stop all day at Lyndsey's

Sophie and her Daddy

Carla's "self portrait"  LOL

Madi & Sabrina
My son Rob, getting a kiss from Conner &  in the background is the depths of Chuck E. Cheese Hell

Lyndsey, Showing Sophie the baby elephant.

A few more photos of the Craziness of Chuck E. Cheese Pizza Parlor and More of the Wild Animal Park


Julee Marie Photography said...

Betty you crack me up! I'm certainly glad that you moved and worked where you did. Otherwise you wouldn't have found your daughter that you lost over the years! HA! I love you and I hope you have a wonderful birthday.

Brenda said...

I wonder what it is about aging that makes us reflect back on our life. I noticed that when my parents started aging they often talked about things they wished they had done differently and all the regrets. It used to depress me when they talked like that. Now I find myself doing the same thing. But I think a lot like you do. It was what it was. Why wish it was anything other than that. I call it "acceptance".
I can relate to a lot of what you said here Betty. Have a great time!

Jose said...

chuck e chesse hell, lol I like that.

Age is nothing but a number, I am still a kid at heart and I have seven little playmates to keep me busy. lol

Sandy said...

Wow, what a kick reading this and now I am thinking what would I do differently. I would definitely have sold my house last year when the economy better. Happy day to you and enjoyed all the photos.