Sending Flowers to Heaven

Paul doesn't read my blog. Acts like a 6th grader when I try to read one of them to him. So I won't go on and on about him on his birthday today. 

Years ago, I use to give my Mother-in-Law flowers on his birthday; to thank her for him.  

Paul and I had a whirlwind romance 30 some years ago. We got married only 3 1/2 months after we met at a New Years Eve Party. Yikes did I get lucky. Oh we had our moments, especially during the first 5 years. I mean where was the romance? The flowery statements? The loving and supportive words of our courtship??? Why all the Criticism? Constructive Criticism???!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? 

 Our biggest challenge came only 6 months after we got married. I was pregnant with Katie soon after the wedding and so our first summer was um HORRIBLE.. We had Katie 12-15 weeks early and she weighed 1lb 13 oz.. In 1978, the odds were less than 1% we'd have a healthy "normal" child. We made it through, although Paul did tell me when we were ready to bring her home, that I'd handled it badly, by going to the hospital everyday.. That's why it had been so hard on me.. "I'm just trying", he'd say, "to help!? Why are you mad? ALL THE TIME"?!

By the 6 year mark, things had settled down. We had 3 kids by then.. To be fair, we started with Robbie so I'd had two pregnancies. 

We had Ricky a year later, and by the end of the 7th year, I understood how lucky I was/am. Once during the early 5 years of our marriage, I found an over sized whisky bottle (prop sized) in the back of the closet. In it were 3 $20.00 bills. I took it to Paul, asking what's this? He looked sheepish and explained that he'd been saving for my birthday present. The MOST romantic thing he'd ever done. I think that's when I started to "get it".

In most ways, Paul never left the 6th grade; neither have his sons or daughters. They all have their father's gift at laughter and silliness. They're the Lucky 4; The only 4 (that I know of :) ) who've ever called Paul Flocken Daddy, Dad or sometimes (to me) Asshole.

Over the years, my health has been at issue, Pre-Clampsia (sp) with Katie, Rheumatoid Arthritis in the earliest years of our marriage which turned out not to be? Graves, Multiple Sclerosis, Heart Disease. A Broken leg.  You name it. He's been through it with me. Always smiling, well almost always. It's the other spouse who really goes through hell when a partner is sick all the time.

 His children love AND Like him, His nieces and nephews love him. His sisters love him. MY parents loved him and my mom ALWAYS took his side when I'd take our fights to her. Kathie likes him ok I think. Peggy ran out of the house as he came home in 1985 shortly after we died Robbie's hair.. Hey it was the 80's. She likes him too.

The worst thing about M.S. to me, was when the nurse who taught Paul how to give me the weekly shots, referred to him as my caregiver. WHAT kind of future was there for him. That was 10 years ago. He's managed to to keep Laughter in our lives as well as romance even through the rough years my health has brought us. He is my rock and my greatest blessing. From him my four blessings and 6 grand blessings came. My laughter and optimism come from him.

I call you many things; old man, asshole, idiot, moron, honey. Mostly you are my very best friend..  So, you won't read this; but Happy Birthday Honey.

I love you. And Marie, I'm sending you flowers to Heaven from my heart today.

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog today.