Friday, September 12, 2008

Sending Flowers to Heaven




Paul doesn't read my blog. Acts like a 6th grader when I try to read one of them to him. So I won't go on and on about him on his birthday today. 
Years ago, I use to give my Mother-in-Law flowers on his birthday; to thank her for him.  

Paul and I had a whirlwind romance 30 some years ago. We got married only 3 1/2 months after we met at a New Years Eve Party. Yikes did I get lucky. Oh we had our moments, especially during the first 5 years. I mean where was the romance? The flowery statements? The loving and supportive words of our courtship??? Why all the Criticism? Constructive Criticism???!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? 

 Our biggest challenge came only 6 months after we got married. I was pregnant with Katie soon after the wedding and so our first summer was um HORRIBLE.. We had Katie 12-15 weeks early and she weighed 1lb 13 oz.. In 1978, the odds were less than 1% we'd have a healthy "normal" child. We made it through, although Paul did tell me when we were ready to bring her home, that I'd handled it badly, by going to the hospital everyday.. That's why it had been so hard on me.. "I'm just trying", he'd say, "to help!? Why are you mad? ALL THE TIME"?!

By the 6 year mark, things had settled down. We had 3 kids by then.. To be fair, we started with Robbie so I'd had two pregnancies. 
We had Ricky a year later, and by the end of the 7th year, I understood how lucky I was/am. Once during the early 5 years of our marriage, I found an over sized whisky bottle (prop sized) in the back of the closet. In it were 3 $20.00 bills. I took it to Paul, asking what's this? He looked sheepish and explained that he'd been saving for my birthday present. The MOST romantic thing he'd ever done. I think that's when I started to "get it".

In most ways, Paul never left the 6th grade; neither have his sons or daughters. They all have their father's gift at laughter and silliness. They're the Lucky 4; The only 4 (that I know of :) ) who've ever called Paul Flocken Daddy, Dad or sometimes (to me) Asshole.

Over the years, my health has been at issue, Pre-Clampsia (sp) with Katie, Rheumatoid Arthritis in the earliest years of our marriage which turned out not to be? Graves, Multiple Sclerosis, Heart Disease. A Broken leg.  You name it. He's been through it with me. Always smiling, well almost always. It's the other spouse who really goes through hell when a partner is sick all the time.

 His children love AND Like him, His nieces and nephews love him. His sisters love him. MY parents loved him and my mom ALWAYS took his side when I'd take our fights to her. Kathie likes him ok I think. Peggy ran out of the house as he came home in 1985 shortly after we died Robbie's hair.. Hey it was the 80's. She likes him too.

The worst thing about M.S. to me, was when the nurse who taught Paul how to give me the weekly shots, referred to him as my caregiver. WHAT kind of future was there for him. That was 10 years ago. He's managed to to keep Laughter in our lives as well as romance even through the rough years my health has brought us. He is my rock and my greatest blessing. From him my four blessings and 6 grand blessings came. My laughter and optimism come from him.

I call you many things; old man, asshole, idiot, moron, honey. Mostly you are my very best friend..  So, you won't read this; but Happy Birthday Honey.
I love you. And Marie, I'm sending you flowers to Heaven from my heart today.

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog today.

16 comments:

Julee Marie Photography said...

What a great man you have their Betty, of course you know that. Whether he reads your blog or not, i believe he knows how much you love him. I can see it in his eyes everytime I see you guys together. He's everything you say he is and probably even more. He's just as lucky to have you as you are to have him. You guys are a "perfect" fit for one another.

Betty Flocken said...

LOL Julee, We SAVED the world from each other!

Jose said...

Betty sounds like you have a great man besides you, allow me to join you in wishing him a very happy birthday. Oh and I am sure those flowers will make it to heaven too.

It's funny because I started blogging by chance and a few family members started blogging too but most couldn't commit to posting regularly. My wife will never blog and at one time she hated and was kindda jelous of my blog. Can you believe that? But it's been a little bit over two years since I started blogging and I think she finally accepted it. Now I know that although she never comments to any of my posts (actually she has made an apperance about three times) she keeps up with it.

I really think this was one cool post.

Betty Flocken said...

Thanks Joe!

Brenda said...

Well tell him Happy Birthday, and hopefully someone will tell him how lucky he is also to have YOU. That was a lovely Birthday story, and I really liked the picture of you two youngsters! You both know what real love is all about, by going through all that you have gone through.

Many blessings to you both!!

Betty Flocken said...

Thanks! Brenda!

Lyndsey said...

YEP that my daddy.... forever in the 6th gr. my biggest hero! My daddy has stood bye me no matter what! I love you forever and always!

Jim said...

Very nice post to your husband and best friend. I hope he had a great birthday.

Anonymous said...

Give him a big happy birthday! I meant to ask for him last night when you got that other call - remember the year Robb got him "ropes" for his birthday? Or was that for you? Ah....the good old days!

Kathie

Anonymous said...

PS - you said you had a dorky picture of Paul on the blog? Which one?

Kathie

Betty Flocken said...

VERY funny Kathie. The one of him in the Pool!!!!

Sandy said...

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this and enjoyed the chuckles along the way..haha. asshole...that's funny..and you admit it too!! Oh yeah I know about those names, ...

happy birthday to Paul....

will try to check in while gone but don't know right now with this computer acting up.

* TONYA * said...

What a wonderful man you have. Happy birthday to him. You have been through so much together.

That is so sweet that you used to give your mother-in-law flowers on Paul's birthday.

Carla Flocken said...

Tell Pappy's "Happy Belated Birthday". I'm such a boob! I meant to call, but I didn't have the right number in my cell, so I was going to call as soon as I got home and I don't know what happened. I just plain ol' forgot. Tell him I'm sorry and that I'll make Rob carry his backpack up the Grand Canyon for him...just to make up!

mig bardsley said...

Oh Goodness, I think I love him too :)
What a great guy and let's face it, isn't he lucky he's got you too :)

OvaGirl said...

A beautiful post Betty and a beautiful celebration of your man...